on the road again

Before taking this vacation I hadn't driven for six months. I really have no need to do so in Sydney. My work is within walking distance. The bus is a more economical and eco-friendly way to visit the city. The few driving lessons my fiance have given me usually end with my heart racing, or worse, with me in tears. So while I will eventually need to learn to drive properly on the left side of the road, for now I'm happy letting someone else drive.

My fiance has a similar driving deficiency when visiting the United States. All of the driving is up to me, while he navigates from the passenger seat (or worse, falls asleep, which I often find very irritating). This arrangement has led to some interesting "adventures."

There was the time I almost turned the wrong way on a one way street in Boston. My fiance gave his famous "turn right when you can" advice, and then suggested I turn at the next light. Thankfully, our hotel was in the financial district and it was a Saturday morning, meaning there was no one coming towards us. The only witness to my stupidity was the lone taxi driver who honked and shook his finger to indicate I was going the wrong way.

Then there was the night when we drove all over upstate New York looking for our hotel. We got into Cooperstown around 5pm, and immediately visited the Baseball HOF thanks to their awesome summer hours (open until 9pm!). Three hours later we finally ate dinner at a local restaurant, and set out for our hotel. I was reasonably sure I had booked something within three miles of downtown, but the Google map directions led us out of town and down a windy, dark country road. Once we passed where the hotel was supposed to be, my fiance discovered I had read the address number to him incorrectly. No problem: he inputed the correct address and we were off. Unfortunately by this time it was dark, and backroads don't have streetlights. The quickest way back to where we needed to be was through more dark, windy roads. The kind that pass creepy farmhouses, go through thick woods, and where deer cross the road (all things we actually saw). After another half hour of driving, losing and regaining cell signal, and general anxiety at being lost-ish, we finally called the hotel for directions. Turns out the hotel was south of town, not north like we had been going. So back to Cooperstown, and what do you know! -- we find the hotel within ten minutes.

Then there was the delightful time we accidentally went to New Jersey. This is actually the second time I have accidentally been to New Jersey. The first time was much nicer, as it involved getting an ice cream at Dairy Queen. This time involved missing a turn in Philadelphia, and getting onto the Ben Franklin Bridge thinking it connected to the I-95 in the direction we were going. Nope: it goes to New Jersey. I got off at the first exit so we could get back onto the bridge, and ended up in a very very bad neighborhood. After several tense minutes of driving down one way streets and obsessively checking that the car doors were locked, we were headed back into Pennsylvania. After paying a $5.00 toll to get back on the Ben Franklin Bridge. Oy vey.

Needless to say, I am very excited to not drive for awhile.

the time has come for one and all to play ball

During this trip one thing has become abundantly clear: Most of my knowledge of baseball comes from pop culture.

Seinfeld fills most of my brain; everything from Keith Hernandez's "magic loogie" to the cartoonish exclamations of "George Steinbrenner." To me, Joe Dimaggio was part of a Simon & Garfunkel lyric before he was a Yankee slugger. Ted Williams: the guy in the Nissen Bread commercials. The "Miracle Mets" are a piece of the puzzle Will Smith and Josh Brolin are trying to solve in Men in Black 3.

So while the Baseball Hall of Fame was a quasi-religious pilgrimage for my fiance-- a huge baseball fan-- for me it was another opportunity to quote television and movies.

I gleefully reminded him that "there's no crying in baseball" while viewing the Women in Baseball exhibit (which displays costumes from the movie alongside actual All-American League uniforms). I imitated the Phil Rizzuto "Holy Cow!" key chain George Costanza lost while jumping a pot hole. I did my best impression of Will Ferrel doing an impression of Harry Caray ("It's a simple question. If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself? I would, and I'd be delicious!").

Thankfully, my fiance finds all of this as hysterical as I do. He laughed at my suggestion that there should be an exhibit dedicated to the many loves of Alex Rodriguez, and agrees that Rob Lowe's rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" from Parks & Recreation should be played on a loop somewhere in the building. While visiting the HOF was serious business, he somehow didn't take it too seriously. It's just a game.

Next time we're in an art museum, I'll try to act a bit more like him and not take it too seriously. I know he's not as into art as I am, and he's just trying to entertain himself. He'd much rather be watching sports, but he's with me instead. I should reward him by laughing at his jokes. (Just not too loudly.)



[My fiance is very proud of the number of baseball stadiums he has visited on this trip. Here's the list: Camden Yards, Citi Field, Yankee Stadium, Fenway Park, Citizens Bank Park, Nationals Stadium.]

the best that you can do is fall in love

And so we bid adieu to New York City. Our last few days were not the best, but they wrapped up our extended stay there nicely.

Our second to last day was the most touristy of them all. We booked a bus tour of NY movie and TV locations. It was early, so we decided to get breakfast near the pick up site in Times Square. Knowing how much I hate Times Square, my fiance asked several times if this plan was OK with me. I said yes, figuring we didn't really need to eat in actual Times Square. Unfortunately, this was the only day it actually rained. Cold and miserable and without an umbrella, I agreed to eat at the first place we could find that was either close to the subway station or close to where the bus would pick us up. The bus was picking us up outside Ellen's Stardust Diner. Did you know the wait staff sings between serving up pancakes and chicken strips? Somehow I missed the sign out front announcing this fact. The concept is kind of cool, but the volume on the speakers was way too loud, especially for 10am.

Then on to the tour, which mercifully was in a fully inclosed bus. (Despite the rain there were still many people on the open top double decker bus tours. These people truly understand the YOLO motto.)  Our tour guide was funny, and the tour itself was quite good. We passed famous buildings, parks, and monuments featured in television and film, and watched accompanying clips on the bus' TV screens. The highlights: the apartment exterior from Friends, the firehouse from Ghostbusters, and Washington Square Park featured in everything from When Harry Met Sally to I Am Legend. And speaking of When Harry Met Sally, after the tour we did some extended movie site seeing, and ate lunch at Katz's Delicatessen. The fake orgasm jokes have already started on Facebook...

Then came our final day. My fiance is a huge baseball fan, and couldn't leave without seeing a Yankee game. Literally, he couldn't leave. He added an extra day in New York onto the trip because the Yankee's had been on the road the previous week and a half.

I don't particularly like baseball, but visiting Yankee Stadium was actually quite fun. We did the stadium tour, which is surprisingly cheap ($20 per person) and pretty cool. The new stadium has a museum of team memorabilia and a monument garden. Both are open before games, but you have to fight the crowds to get in. Good luck getting decent photos when you do. The tour gives you better access, with a much smaller group. Plus, you get a friendly and knowledgable tour guide to answer all your questions, and lovingly poke fun at other less decorated teams. Then the part you've paid for: sitting in the actual Yankee dugout.

At this point I'd like to apologize to my father. He is a Red Sox fan. He will surely blame my presence at Yankee Stadium for any Sox loses this week. Somehow by entering the House Directly Adjacent to the House That Babe Built, I disrupted the heavens and cursed the Sox. Unless they win, and then I will be strongly advised to attend a home game next year.

And that was New York. We woke this morning to clear skies, but cold temperatures. Getting the rental car out of the city was easier than I anticipated, and I can now check "drive a car in New York city" off my bucket list.

Do I love New York? I think I might. Could I live there? Maybe, but I might be kidding myself. It's fun to imagine myself visiting museums on the weekends, jogging through Central Park, and finding new eateries. But short of winning the lottery, it's just not fiscally possible.

So on to Boston, where I plan on giving the fiance a lesson on the Revolutionary War. Should be interesting.

you can't always get what you want

I feel like parts of our vacation need a do-over.

The Washington Monument is still closed due to the earthquake last year. The Reflecting Pool on the National Mall was drained, and the areas on either side were walled off for construction. The Statue of Liberty was closed for refurbishments. Parts of Ellis Island were  under construction, making it impossible to access some of the walls bearing the names of immigrants. The ramps in the Guggenheim were closed for installation. The Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art is completely closed while they install their summer exhibits.

Disappointing, but I have to look on the bright side. We've seen more in just a few weeks than most people see in their lifetime. The forecast has been for rain in every city we've visited thus far, but we've been blessed with clear skies and warm temperatures. My fiance and I have yet to get into a fight, despite my penchant for becoming "hangry" if I don't eat at least every three hours.

And maybe all the construction and closures are a blessing in disguise. We now have very solid reasons for visiting these places in the future. If we had seen everything we set out to on this trip, we might not be so inclined to visit again. I'm not rooting for more closures and construction on this trip, but if they come I'll take them in stride.

You're never going to get a perfect trip, but so far our's has been pretty darn great.

and i'm gonna go wild, spray paint the walls

I love my fiance. He is hilarious and we have a lot of fun when we're together. I try not to take things too seriously, and he does a great job of bringing me back to earth when I do. For the most part, his inappropriate and off color remarks are a welcome distraction.

But God love him, he can really embarrass me in art museums.

Our visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art started off well enough. After our initial shock at how big the place is (we didn't even see half of its massive collection), we picked a route and started walking through. The Egyptian Wing was met with some enthusiasm, though not much. My fiance admitted he didn't know much about that period of history, but thought everything "looked pretty cool." He did enjoy The Temple of Dendur, though I suspect that had a little more to do with a scene from When Harry Met Sally being filmed there than with the temple itself. But hey, I'll take what I can get.

We quickly passed through the American Wing, and on to the Arms and Armor rooms. This was a big hit. Being the resident photographer of our trip, I was instructed to take photos every five seconds. The scrapbook I eventually make will be very gun and sword heavy. Then on the Greek and Roman Art (another quick stroll, having visited The Getty Villa together last year), and on through Arts of Africa, Oceania, and the Americas.

Then we hit a wall. A chasm in philosophy, between what is art and what isn't.

"This isn't art," my fiance said, louder than I cared for. "It's not art if I can do it!"
"It is art. The point isn't that you could do it. It's that nobody at that time was doing it."
"No, it's not art. It's just squares."

This isn't the first time we've had this discussion, and I know it won't be the last. I was an illustration major. I took more art history classes than I can count. While I may not like some Modern Art, I understand it in the context of art as a whole. It's another step in mankind's creative evolution.

We continued through the Modern Art, which brought more snarky comments from the fiance, until I finally threw in the towel. Today was not going to be the day he had a breakthrough in thinking. (Though he did love the two Chuck Close portraits on display that day.) I quickly shuttled him to the European Paintings. Van Gogh, Monet, Seurat... those he can enjoy. They're more than abstract shapes. And to be fair, I'd rather have any of them hanging on my wall than a Jackson Pollack.

I'll keep trying though. One of these days he might start to like Mark Rothko. You never know.

they're coming to america

"Could you imagine being a kid in this city? You'd go on so many cool field trips."

My fiance isn't wrong. I remember the thrill of field trips when I was in elementary school, but New York area kids seem even more excited. Growing up in Northern Maine was nice, but beyond state history little of significance really happened there. We did go to Boston for three days in the fifth grade, but other than that all I really remember were a visit to the state capital in fourth grade, and a trip to the town bank and post office in kindergarten. Not exactly thrilling stuff.

But New York area kids... I don't think they know how lucky they have it. They live in a city full of history and culture. The teacher's must love it almost as much as the students. It's so much easier to teach subjects like history and art appreciation when your pupils can practically reach out and touch it.

This is especially true of Ellis Island (and to a lesser extent the Statue of Liberty). While immigrants passing through the Registration Room at Ellis Island is a thing of the past, the immigrant experience in New York is very much a part of the city's present. While walking the streets I've probably heard every language on earth being spoken.* New York city classrooms are no doubt a very real representation of "the melting pot" this country is said to be.

For those kids-- the children of immigrants or immigrants themselves-- Ellis Island must be the easiest  part of American history to relate to. It wouldn't be very hard for them to imagine traveling to a new country. To not know anyone outside your family (if you are lucky enough to have family members living here already). To find yourself thrust into a world where everyone around you speaks a different language. To find yourself torn between your homeland's culture and American culture.

Growing up an immigrant in America is probably still rough, but at least the kids in New York have a very real reminder that they are not alone. They aren't the first to make the journey, and they won't be the last.


*And seen every dog breed imaginable.

love and hope and sex and dreams are still survivin' on the street

Times Square is the worst. It's just the worst. I did not like it. It was crowded and noisy and hot and full of chain restaurants. I now completely understand how some people hate New York.

Traveling around the city I've noticed a lot of international tourists. Their guidebooks in Japanese and Spanish and German give them away. They tend to gather in the most touristy locations, which inevitably at some point in their stay means Times Square. And I do get it: it's where they drop the ball on New Year's Eve. It's the scene of the famous Alfred Eisenstaedt photo, where a sailor kisses a woman in celebration of V-J Day. It's the hub of the theater district. It's "the Crossroads of the World."

The reality will never match up with the glamorized vision created on TV and in the movies. Times Square is quite like Hollywood in this regard. You think it's a beautiful area, filled with movie stars and trendy coffee shops. But it's actually pretty dumpy, full street performers in superhero Halloween costumes and porn shops. New York City may have done away with the porn shops, but it's still not as great as you'd imagine.

So whenever I see foreign (and even some American) tourists on the subway, I want to warn them: DO NOT visit Times Square! Take a long walk through Central Park. Spend a day in the Met. Go to a baseball game. Don't judge New York by those few blocks around Broadway and Seventh Avenue. It's a tiny slice of a city that is somehow vast despite it's lack of acreage.

But maybe I'm being a little too harsh. As a Southern Californian, I've made my peace with Hollywood. I've even come to love it, seediness and all. I would never judge all of Los Angeles by it, but it is still part of the city's character. Maybe Times Square falls into the same category for New Yorkers-- something you must do once, but please don't judge my entire city on it alone.

a cheeseburger in paradise

"I think I like this better than In-N-Out," my fiance said. He was barely three bites into his Shake Shack cheeseburger, and he was already spouting blasphemy.

Australia is lacking in the burger department (unless we make them ourselves; though, our local fish 'n chips shop has a good contender). Five Guys left us a bit disappointed (too much hype; meh fries). We've been advised to avoid White Castle (done). But Shake Shack... sooooo goooood!

I love the burgers. I love the fries-- plain or slathered in cheese. I love the shakes. We've been in New York only three full days and have already gone twice. We've joked about going again this week. At least, I think we were both joking.

Yet I just can't proclaim them to be my favorite burger. Yes, they are excellent, but they don't have In-N-Out's classic spread/special sauce. It's the best food substance in the world. I always dip my fries in it, and have gone so far as to save packets of it for home-burger nights. And speaking of fries, Shake Shack's crinkle fries are excellent, but I'll always be partial to shoe strings.

Sorry, Shake Shack. You are delightful, but In-N-Out is still what a hamburger's all about.

and all i have to do is act naturally

There is something unnatural about the American Museum of Natural History. Don't get me wrong, it's a very cool place. You'd be remiss to visit New York and skip it. But there is something odd and even a little unsettling about the museum. At least that's how it seemed to us.

Walking through the Hall of African Mammals, we got our first look at the famous dioramas. Zebras drink from a watering hole. A lion pride surveys a field, looking for its next meal. Massive elephants dominate the center of the room. It was exactly what I had expected, yet somehow it felt strange.

Living in San Diego means I have visited its zoo more times than I can count. I'm used to seeing animals behind glass, they're just usually moving. But when you really think about it, aren't zoos just as weird, if not more so? Is it better to take a dead animal and pose it for eternal display, or remove a live one from its environment and confine it to a cage for the rest of its life? Neither is a true example of how the animal looks and acts in the wild.

The rest of the museum (save for the fourth floor, where they keep the dinosaurs and other fossils) feels just as strange, almost like stepping back in time or into a Wes Anderson movie. Artifacts are displayed in the most straight forward way; lined up in orderly fashion within glass display cases, or placed on mannequins. No muss, no fuss.

While my 20th/21st century eye sees this as dated, it was actually ahead of its time in the 1920s and 1930s when the museum was really taking shape. Great care and detail were used in creating the taxidermy dioramas, creating displays that sharply contrasted with the rigid stuffing typically used at the time. The display on evolution was the only major American exhibition of its kind in 1921. The AMNH worked closely with cultural anthropologists Franz Boas and Margaret Mead, who both revolutionized the field.

The American Museum of Natural History isn't the flashiest, but it is itself a slice of New York history. When you view the dioramas, you are viewing the same display seen by visitors over 70 years ago. You are walking in the footsteps of New York's rich and poor, old and young, tourists and locals.

i want to wake up in the city that never sleeps

New York City is the longest stop on our trip. Eleven days in the Big Apple. I better like it.

So far it's been a mix. Getting off the train at Madison Square Garden was a bit chaotic. We were weighed down with bags, trying our best to weave through the crowd while not getting separated. Thankfully the city has thought ahead and set up a semi-orderly taxi stand at the exit. If people weren't forced into a queue, trying to catch a cab there would be a nightmare.

Of course, about three minutes into our taxi ride to the hotel I wanted out. The ride was one of those stereotypical New York experiences you hear about in television and movies, but don't quite believe it ever happens. Our cabbie flew through yellow lights and switched lanes at least 1000 times on his way to the Upper West Side. But he did get us there fast and in one piece, so I guess that's a victory.

Our hotel is nicely located. A short walk from Central Park, with lots of local eateries and bars up and down Broadway and Amsterdam. We even got upgraded to the Penthouse because my fiance told the front desk we had just gotten engaged. The elevator is slow, but the room is comfy and quiet.

All in all, it's been a good start.